April 30, 2005

I HATE Gas Ovens

Gottdamnit! I hate gas ovens! I hate them with a passion! I have always hated them and the fact that I have a gas oven now pisses me off and I hate them even more. I have learned how to use the gas burners, (which I still fucking hate so it's not a matter of not knowing how to use the things), but I've never used a gas oven. Most of the "gas" stoves had gas burners but electric ovens.

Well now I'm in a new place with a fucking gas stove AND oven and I don't know how in the fucking hell to make the oven turn on. That pisses me off because I'm hungry and I want to make my pizza but I can't because I've never been taught how to "ignite" (oh yah, that makes me feel comfortable...IGNITE?) the damn thing and when I go to look up the information on the internet, can I find anything?

Hell no! All I can find is "buy our irritating gas ovens cheap!" and some personal websites written by people who think gas ovens are better than electrical because if you wait long enough to ignite the thing....oh thank you very fucking much asshole! I already hate the damn things...now I get to worry if I'm not lighting the stupid thing on time?

I turned the stupid knob just like I do the burners but I don't see any flame. Am I supposed to see a flame? How do I know the thing is on? All I can smell is some nasty smell, (whatever they put in the gas to make it have a smell), and that freaks me out because now I'm thinking, "Oh great! My house is filling up with gas and if I dare turn on a fucking light or light a cigarette I'm going to blow the whole fucking complex up. Lovely. Just mother fucking lovely! ALL I WANTED WAS A GOTTDAMNED PIZZA!"

And of course because I keep weird hours and do not eat at normal hours like most people, the businesses are closed and I can't call the gas company to have them tell me how the fuck to work this stupid thing.

Is it an electric ignition? Is the oven electric? If so, why does the damn thing pop like the burners do when I turn the knob? HOW THE FUCK do I make this stupid thing work without blowing out 10 city blocks in the process?

I never had this problem with an electrical oven. Those were fucking easy. You turn the knob to the desired temperature and you were done. Now I have to have a fucking degree in chemistry to cook a fucking pizza? ARGH!

Perfect. I get to go to bed hungry and pissed off. Not a good combination. I HATE gas stoves! I HATE THEM! I shake my fist in the air at the asshole who ever invented the damn things! Screw you jackass! Now I have to wait till Monday for a slice of pizza! I hope your next dinner BURNS!

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at 11:48 PM | Comments (9)

April 29, 2005

Dear Downstairs Neighbors Part II

Once again it's the weekend and that means it's time for the little kids who live downstairs, and their friends, to play outside, making racket until all hours of the night. Because it's not too late, I don't really mind that they are playing around outside and yelling. They don't have a playground or a yard, really, since it's an apartment building so it wasn't too big of a deal. Until I heard them running around on the back steps leading to my apartment.

They have no business being up there and I really don't need children yelling and screaming right outside my door, up to mischevious behavior so I decided to grab a smoke and go outside.

By the time I got outside they were no longer on the stairs leading to my apartment but they were still at the back of the building playing around. I decided to sit and enjoy my cigarette and act as a deterrent should they decide to come running up the steps again.

I was privvy to a barrage of foul language on the part of the youngest child out there. I got up and leaned over the railing to look down and spied one child at the water hose faucet helping Mr. Nasty Mouth control the water in which to spray a third child, unseen as he was around the corner. The water control boy got up and saw me watching them and went to the opposite corner of the building to hide in the shadows just as Mr. Nasty Mouth asked him to turn on the water again.

During all of this however, Mr. Nasty Mouth was telling Unseen Boy that he:

"Fucked your grandmother last night"


"I fucked your girlfriend last night too. I fucked your other girlfriend the night before bitch."

What an adorable little boy! How charming he is! His parents must be so proud! Oh, wait, where the fuck are they? That's right, not around again.

The first child pointed out to Mr. Nasty Mouth that I was there by announcing, "The lady!!" at which point Mr. Nasty Mouth looked up and saw me. I asked him, "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

He instantly clammed up, looked down at his shoes and went around the corner of the building to hide his shame. Oh yes, there was much shame on his face. He got caught saying really foul things by "the lady" and he was embarrassed.

Guess what? That's right. All three children have decided it's time to go indoors now. To their respective homes, you know, where you live, where you are, where you can watch them and preferably discipline them for their extremely colorful language?

Please, please tell me why it is that I can hear your children cursing up a storm, talking about sexual escapades they had with elderly women at the ripe old age of 10, and you can't. How is that? I don't have super powers that enable me to hear things that other people cannot so why do you sit in your home and ignore the fact that your child needs a serious visit with Mr. Bar of Soap and a few discussions about watching his mouth around a building which houses elderly women and other children and their mothers. Not to mention women such as myself who are just trying to have a life and aren't particularly interested in hearing young boys talking so flippantly about fucking this chick or that.

Now is the time for you to curb that behavior. Please remember, though, these are your children, not mine. It is your job to see that they are brought up correctly and show respect to others. So far you are doing a piss poor job of it and I'm getting really close to demanding a portion of that tax cut that I mentioned before.

I shouldn't have to do this. Your child responds well to someone calling him out on his actions so why aren't you doing it?

If it's a matter of being unable to afford a bar of soap, I will happily supply you with one. All you need to do is let me know.

Thank you and have yourself yet again another pleasant evening as your children run around the complex making fools of themselves, depending on every other adult besides their parents to keep an eye on them while you sit in your apartment doing who knows what. What we do know is you are not parenting.

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at 09:52 PM | Comments (1)


I have to admit that I'm a huge fan of American Idol. I wasn't at first. The very first season of AI I decided, after seeing commercials for it, that it was going to be cheesy and that I would not watch it. It was the second time in my life that I was very wrong about a show. (The first being 'Friends' which I did not watch until almost the end of season one when I was at a peer's house and they turned it on. Found out it was actually good.)

I ignored the hooplah and chose to read or watch other programs until a co-worker of mine and I went on a break together one day for lunch and she talked about AI the entire time. Alright, I went home and watched it.

And became an AI addict.

I did miss the last season except for one episode as I was extremely busy but I've watched every other season. Season two was lame and I was not very interested in any of the singers so that also had something to do with me missing season three. This season is turning out to be quite interesting indeed and my pick is Kerry Underwood. She better win, damnit or I will be pissed off and it will further my belief that there are far too many stupid people in this country.

But I'm here to talk about the winner of season one, the American Idol herself, Kelly Clarkson. During that season, every single time Kelly sang, it didn't matter what genre they had picked for them to perform, Kelly sang so well I would get goosebumps. Her voice is absolutely amazing. There really are not that many "artists" out there with record deals that I can say that about. There are some ok singers and some good singers and some really awful, shitty, "how in the hell did they get in the studio" type singers, (Britney), but hardly anyone can make me take notice when they hit their first note.

Kelly is one of those who can make me stop whatever it is that I'm doing and listen to her entire song, undivided attention and when she's done, make me want to hear more.

After she won AI I was a little turned off by her first song and that horrible bent metal traffic accident of a movie she did with 2nd place winner, Justin. Oh my gawd was that stupid. Despite how well she sang, those two mistakes, (as far as I'm concerned), made me stop paying attention to her and I did not listen to her if I saw her on VH1 or MTV.

Until she did, "Since You've Been Gone". Holy shit! That's the Kelly Clarkson I remember. Her voice is so wonderful and powerful that she doesn't need a lot of tracks or instruments to cover up her pipes. The song used only two acoustic guitars and Kelly's vocal chords. I can't get enough of it. I want to replay that song over and over again.

While she may do alright with other songs, "Miss Independent" was ok in my book, I think she does the best when she just showcases her voice. The people at American Idol and the American public did an outstanding job of finding the very first one. Can you imagine if the first season of AI had Clay Aiken as the winner? I don't think it would be as popular as it is today if Kelly had not been the first winner. I really don't.

While other Idol winners and runner ups may be doing projects here and there, it seems that Kelly is the only one working hard and remaining in the spotlight, continually putting out songs and topping the Billboard charts. (And can someone answer why Clay Aiken is doing more than Rueben Studdard these days? The only time I've seen Rueben is doing a song for a show and then he did an 'acting' bit in that really STUPID show, "Life On A Stick".) Maybe the other Idol winners are doing more but their publicist sucks.

Regardless, I'm thrilled that Kelly did this song and if she continues to do songs like that I think she will go a long way and not be a one hit wonder like I fear many other Idol winners will be.

As for this season....um, what the hell is Scott still doing in the competition? I didn't like Constantine very much at all because he was always posturing for the camera, doing that annoying pout and looking up through his eyelashes like a little girl....makes me want to throw up...but he sure as hell was a lot better than Scott! What the fuck people?

I was torn between Bo Bice and Kerry Underwood to win but since we've all found out about Bo's little run in with the law for drugs, I'm firmly behind Kerry. First of all, her voice is fantastic. As good as Kelly's? No, but very close. Second, she has that "all American" girl next door look. I don't think that there should be an American Idol....IDOL people, who has prior arrest records because he used drugs and got himself shit faced in public. There are little, impressionable kids watching this show and drunk, drug users should not be "Idolized".

Anyway, if you have not heard Kelly Clarkson's, "Since You've Been Gone" you might want to give it a listen. It shows off that wonderful voice of hers and you may find yourself getting goosebumps too.

Kelly has just regained a fan.

[If you want the acoustic version, the version I'm talking about, email me and I'll send it to you. I would put it on here for people to "Right Click/Save As" but I know there are far too many retards and assholes out there who will choose to suck up my bandwidth instead because they are stupid.]

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at 07:34 AM | Comments (4)

April 27, 2005

Earth Day Fools

Hollywood celebrities are so wise. So knowing. So in tune with nature. We should all listen to them and heed their advice and warnings because they know what they're talking about. Just listen to Selma Hayek who was invited to spend Earth Day with the Inuit:

"We are committing, in our civilization, suicide," Hayek announced. "All we have to do is listen to the land, which is sending us messages on how to survive and how to self-destruct. . . . We are going to have to deal with the consequences of our lifestyle. Go talk to the ice, go talk to the wind, go talk to the ocean. There's no negotiation here."

In fact, Ms Hayek is so concerned about global warming and the environment that she "trekked" on up to the Inuit in her Millionaire Airlines Learjet provided to her by the Natural Resources Defense Council and Global Green.

Wind? Ice? Ocean? Land? Anyone? Bueller? What say you about this mode of transportation? Hello? Hmm. Must be a private interview between Hayek and nature. Well it's a good thing she's not a hypocrite. Boy would that have been embarrassing!

We move on from Hayek to Drew Barrymore and her chatty sidekick Cameron Diaz. You know, some people in this world spout out the most ridiculous statements without realizing just how retarded they look but thankfully that's not the case with Cameron and Drew.

MTV has decided to push their agenda air a show called "Trippin'" (which sends various celebrities to some of the poorer countries in the world), in order to cattle prod educate the herd masses about Earth Day and Barrymore and Diaz couldn't wait to jump on board to show how earth friendly they truly are, how they "act and think globally".

Let's start off with Drew "Every life experience I've ever had can be described with the word 'Incredible' which I overuse and abuse on a regular basis" Barrymore:

Actress Drew Barrymore, who reportedly earns $15 million a film, told MTV viewers in one episode that after spending time in a primitive, electricity-free Chilean village, "I aspire to be like them more."

Yes! Let's all aspire to live in poverty! Excellent idea! Incredible!

"I took a poo in the woods hunched over like an animal. It was awesome."

It was incredible! (stick tongue half way out of mouth when pronouncing the "L") Shitting in the woods is great fun! Who needs sanitation?

Diaz had a few wise words herself:

The 32-year-old Diaz, who earns a reported $20-million a movie, boasted that the cow-dung slathered walls of a Nepalese village hut were "beautiful" and "inspiring," and she called the primitive practice of "pounding mud" with sticks to construct a building foundation "the coolest thing."

Diaz also criticized the lifestyles of many Americans after visiting an indigenous village in Chile. "It's kinda gotten out of hand how much convenience we think we need," she said.

Diaz is more than welcome to fork over her money to me since she obviously feels so guilty about having too much. It's not like she needs all that money! Poo is free! She can fling Barrymore's poo all over her mansion walls at home! Act globally! Fling your friend's poo, your dog's poo, the neighborhood cat's poo all over your walls and live in shit after you hand over your millions! Hot damn! How great it is!

Despite the celebrities' praise for the primitive life, "Trippin'" shows them flying on multiple airplanes and chartering at least two helicopters and one boat to reach remote locations over the course of the first four episodes.

The series also showed the celebrities being chauffeured to the airport in a full-size Chevy SUV -- despite several on-screen, anti-SUV factoids noting how environmentally unfriendly SUVs are.

Oops. Oh wait, I guess they needed the airplanes, helicopters and chauffers...all the better to think and act globally my dears. I mean, one could take the bus to the airport or they could, I don't know, walk there....Barrymore thinks walking is great:

Barrymore praised the Chileans living in a remote, electricity-free village as "people who are walking the walk and doing it [environmentalism]; they teach me so much."

I suppose Barrymore is flying the fly and driving the drive? SUVing the SUV?

Let's get back to Diaz because she's obviously the wisest of all Hollywood Celebrities:

"My favorite thing about Bhutan is they measure their country's wealth, not based on dollar amount but on gross national happiness...That is so awesome. I like Bhutan...[they have] maintained a careful balance of Old World tradition and modern convenience...Life moves at a different pace here in Bhutan...The fusion of religion, tradition and a genuine respect for the environment give the whole country a peaceful balance."

Nothing says peaceful and happiness like dying! Woohoo!

[Bhutan] has one of the highest infant mortality rates (103 infant deaths per 1,000 live births) and lowest life expectancies (54 years) in the world.

According to CIA estimates, Bhutan has one of the world's smallest and least developed economies, with the country's 2-million people surviving mostly on the crops they grow themselves.

YAY! They're starving and dying! How awesome! That's the coolest thing ever! I'm so jealous! I want to be just like them! They inspire me! I don't want to have sanitation, clean running water or food! Let's all scrap our unnecessary electricity and supermarkets, indoor plumbing and medicine so that we can live in filth, starve and die prematurely, fling poo at each other and shit in the woods spreading disease! Way fucking cool! This lifestyle totally rules! WHEE!

This is so much fun I can't figure out how to end this post! I guess I'll let this guy's words do it for me:

"There's something perverse and immoral when multi-millionaire Hollywood celebrities head off on junkets in the jungle - and then preach to us lesser mortals about the joys of the simple life, and how we should protect the Earth, conserve energy, prevent global warming, and help the poorest people on our planet continue 'enjoying' their poverty, malnutrition and premature death," Paul Dreissen, author of Eco-Imperialism: Green power/Black Death told Cybercast News Service.

"Life in these developing countries is still nasty, brutish and short. And that there is a reason our parents and grandparents worked so hard to create modern homes and hospitals and technologies, so they could leave behind the unsafe water, dung fires, pollution, rotted teeth, infant mortality and life expectancies half or ours," said Driessen.

"This entire MTV series totally glosses over the hardships and premature death that is right before their eyes. Even mentioning these facts would obviously get in the way of their ideological message, and their determination to turn [MTV viewers] into little ventriloquist's dummies for the sustainable development movement," Driessen explained.

Oh yah, reality. At least Diaz and Barrymore won't have to face that reality as they return to their million dollar homes and fat bank accounts which affords them all those "unneccessary" conveniences.

But hey! Shitting in the woods was fun! I bet they can't wait to tell their grandchildren. All hail the Hollywood celebrity! They sure get it don't they?

[sources: Hayek story: WaPo Diaz and Barrymore's Excellent Shitting Adventures: CNS News.

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at 05:55 PM | Comments (6)

April 26, 2005


You know how sometimes you are at home, with the remote, clicking around trying to find something to watch? I have the uncanny ability to find all the crappy shows in the middle of their segment and the commercial breaks for all the decent shows.

I'm so damn talented I can't stand it.

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at 04:39 PM | Comments (1)

Take It All

I have a propensity to give more away than I really should. It always starts out innocently enough, make a phone call to the Salvation Army to pick up a used, (but in good condition), piece of furniture and the next thing I know, I've got a giant box of my stuff sitting by the door for them to collect also.

Last week I decided to do away with my bookshelves and a computer desk as I finally found replacements that I actually wanted. Of course I could sell the items on E-Bay or put an ad in the paper but since they were relatively cheap in price to begin with and I don't want to deal with the hassle of selling, I called up GoodWill. Well, apparently, Goodwill doesn't want many of your things. I thought they were an organization that helped people get things for their home and themselves at a much reduced rate in their warehouses but I was wrong. After 4 calls to different Goodwills, I was directed by someone there to call the Salvation Army.

I've donated to St. Vincent de Paul and Goodwill in the past with money or clothing or by convincing everyone in the office at work to make one of them the recipient of our collections in a charity drive but I'd never given to the Salvation Army. The aforementioned charity places have become increasingly picky with what they will take and I find that disheartening. I understand that they don't want some ragged, torn up, pee stained couch but unless the item is high end or practically brand new, they turn their nose up at it. Whatever happened to "beggars can't be choosers"?

Regardless, I got on the phone with Salvation Army and they were more than delighted to come get my furniture and they made the offer to pick it up. I did not have to ask them if they would do it. Salvation Army gets a gold star.

After making the arrangements to have a driver show up on Thursday, the rep on the other end informed that they are having a clothing drive, do I have any clothes to give away? I did. Two weeks ago. Before I said heck with it and threw them all in the trash because I didn't think that it would feasible for someone to come pick those up as there weren't that many. Enough to clothe someone for a week, I suppose but really, why drive all that way, spending money on gas?

I sat there, feeling a twinge of guilt for throwing perfectly good clothing away when I could have held on to them for any possible future pick ups or could have dropped them off or called or something. I told the rep that I would look around to see if I might have anything but that it probably wouldn't be that much.

I hung up the phone and immediately started looking through my closets and dresser drawers to see if I could part with something. I mean, there are people far less fortunate than me who need clothes. I have tons of clothes. I can give some of them away.

As I perused the first closet, I realized, I don't have as many items of clothing as I thought I did. Whenever I move, I end up tossing so much stuff or giving away so much stuff and if I do it in steps, spread apart, I don't realize how much I'm giving away. Until I go to give more away. What I found myself staring at were a plethora of coats and jackets and some tops. I've given or tossed away almost 75% of my wardrobe over the past year. Still, none of it went to charity so I have to find something right?

I gathered about 10 shirts and 3 pairs of shorts, all in really nice condition, and as I examined each one, imagined the delight on someone's face as they picked it out for purchase in the Salvation Army store. I could see them buying one of the shirts, anxious to get home, wash it and then put it on. I could see them boucning around the city with their new shirt on, beaming from ear to ear that they found such a cool top for such a low price.

That's when I found myself tearing through my house trying to find more to give. After an hour of going through everything I owned for the third time, (to pick up stragglers), I ended up with, yet again, a very large box filled with not only clothes but some stuffed animals I had saved over the years, books, computer games, a digital camera, battery re-charger, tools, bedding, etc.

My friends don't think I have much as it is but you would be amazed at how much you actually have. Anyone who has ever moved will know this feeling. I'm getting used to parting with things and have made myself committ to the rule that if you don't use it for six months, get rid of it. This is why I have another gigantic box, sitting by my door, waiting for the Salvation Army guy on Thursday. He will take that, the bookshelves, the computer desk, and, if he submits any further information about things they need, I may give them more. I can't help myself.

I also never take a tax write off on anything I've ever donated. Ever. To me it seems wrong. To me, you should donate because you want to give someone else something that you no longer need or want. You should donate because it's helping someone or many people out. You should not donate because you may get money out of it. Now that's just how I feel. If others want to get tax write offs, all the more power to them. I just can't operate that way. It just feels wrong to me. Many would probably remark that I'm a dumbass then for not taking money from the government for helping out but despite how much the government steals from us, I just can't follow that same path. I give because it's the right thing to do, I get happiness from it and I know that someone else will get something from my donations. That IS enough for me.

I am probably giving away about $500-1000 worth of stuff and I have forced myself to stop looking for anything else to give away. In the last year, I have given away just about everything I ever owned. I have new stuff in its place, of course, but I've got to learn to curb this desire to outfit the entire world with clothing and furniture.

Giving is good but if I give away too much, I will find myself at the Salvation Army buying my own stuff back. And that's not good.

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at 02:30 PM | Comments (2)

April 23, 2005

She Was On PCP...Really!

At first this story irritated me but after thinking about it for a minute, I decided it was rather amusing.

"A 5-year-old girl was handcuffed by police after she tore papers off a bulletin board and punched an assistant principal in kindergarten class, according to a video released by a lawyer for the child's mother..."

Were they scared she was going to hit them next? She's 5! A little, tiny 5 year old girl just made fully grown policemen look like a bunch of pansies. Tell me that's not funny.

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at 10:32 PM | Comments (2)

Dear Downstairs Neighbors

Please note the time, it is after 1 am and I'm still awake. Why? You ask? I'll tell you. You see, all day long I've been listening to your little kids and their friends run around and bang into walls, scream at the top of their lungs, curse loudly and run up and down the stairs of this building.

But I said nothing because it was day time and that's when kids are expected to be noisy. Granted, the cursing and screaming could be toned down but still, I kept quiet.

However, every single night this week I have waited patiently for night to fall because I, foolishly apparently, assumed that your children would have to go to bed at a reasonable hour to be able to get up for school the next day. Your kids are in school aren't they? Most nights I was rewarded with peace and quiet some time around 11pm. Personally I think that's awfully late for a 10 year old to be up and running around like he just downed half a ton of sugar but because I was getting some peace, I decided to let it go. I mean, you're the ones who have to live with him.

Now I realize that on weekends kids are often times allowed to stay up later and sometimes they even have slumber parties. I have no issue with either of these. What I do take issue with is that here it is, after one in the morning and what are your kids doing? Do you know? I can't believe that if you are sitting in your apartment with them that you have no idea what they are up to. But let's just say you are either deaf, dumb or blind. I'll tell you what they are doing at 1 in the mother fucking morning.

Your children are standing at your front door and yelling outside while repeatedly slamming the door as loudly as humanly possible. In fact, they have been doing this for approximately one hour and while I'm a patient person, I am not that patient nor do I wish to exercise my patience any further.

Therefore, after the last foundation rattling slam of your front door by your children, I decided to go down to confront you. I don't really like to confront my neighbors as I try ever so hard to live peacefully amongst them but this sort of behavior from your children has been carrying on for approximately 9 days. Yes, I have been counting.

I walked down three steps and eyed your precious young boy standing at the door, getting ready to slam it again while I heard the melodious tones of your young girl screeching in the background; inside the apartment. Where I assumed you might be sitting.

Are you not aware that slamming doors at one in the morning is disturbing other tenants? Apparently you are not as I had to get your child's attention, ask him to please stop slamming the door, it was after midnight. He looked up sheepishly, nodded and silently closed the door after walking back in to your apartment.

And guess what? It has been quiet ever since. Now why is it that I have to parent your children? This is not my job and I don't give a damn about that whole village b.s. that Hillary likes to spout out. Nonetheless, if I have to continually parent your children when they are screaming holy hell and scaring the neighbors, cursing like a sailor and slamming doors, banging walls and running around the stairwells at ungodly hours, then I will be requesting a portion of your tax cut that you get for having these children.

If I ever find out that you have left your children unattended at these hours, I will be calling the proper authorities. If you don't want to discipline your children, you shouldn't have had any. Perhaps they will find themselves in a much more stable home with adult supervision if it is in fact true that you are not around and that is the reason they act like crack whore monkeys.

Thank you and have a most pleasant sleep. At least one of us should, right?

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at 01:32 AM | Comments (5)

April 22, 2005

Quality Family Time

Check out this heartwarming father/daughter day in the woods:

Shelby Skins As Jenny Holds

Isn't that precious? Daddy's teaching Jenny to kill. Thankfully Auntie posted the delightful photos on a website so that Jenny never has to forget the feel of warm blood rushing down her arms as she carries the dead squirrels by their tails to the back of the pick-up so Daddy can skin them.

I'm curious...why didn't Auntie include the photo of Jenny eating the squirrels? Surely Daddy taught his daughter that when hunting, you eat what you kill. That's why you hunt. Surely he's not instilling in his daughter the mindset that shooting Bambi and Thumper between the eyes with a 12 gauge shot gun is for nothing more than the sheer pleasure of doing so.

Right Daddy?

And they say we have lost our family values. Pshaw!

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at 03:00 AM | Comments (1)

The Side Effects Of Too Many Drugs

It may be time to consider weaning yourself from the bong when you find yourself engaged in such MENSA worthy activities such as the following:

The Number Of 'Fucks' In Deadwood

I've heard Deadwood is a great show but I'm far too cheap and I refuse to pay for HBO so I've never seen it. However, I'm trying to figure out, mathematically, just how many ounces of pot one must smoke to think it's a great idea to count each and every utterance of the word, "fuck" in every, single episode ever aired.

The word "fuck" is colorful, wonderful and rather useful at times, of that I agree, but it loses its appeal after the 10th time it's repeated in a span of 30 minutes. This is like counting how many times Paris Hilton says, "That's hot" in her show, The Simple Life. Besides, Deadwood has nothing on the three 10 year old neighborhood boys around here.

Of course the fact that I'm writing about this probably doesn't make me much better.

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at 02:40 AM | Comments (1)

April 21, 2005

High Society

Nothing says "classy neighborhood" like coming home, throwing the windows open to let in the cool breezes and hearing three 10 year old boys playing hide and seek around the apartment complex, running and shouting out things like:

"Hurry the fuck up asshole!"

"I hope you go to hell!"

"Shut up you fucker!"

and my personal favorite:

"Open the door! Let me in you fucking bitch!", from one little 10 year old boy to another.

Ahhh...youth; so fresh faced, so gentle, so charming. And to think that their parents are sitting inside, chain smoking at the dining room table the entire time.

Well, at least they're around.

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at 08:25 PM | Comments (1)

Birth Of The Blog

Uh...is this microphone working....

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at 01:54 PM | Comments (4)