April 29, 2005

Dear Downstairs Neighbors Part II

Once again it's the weekend and that means it's time for the little kids who live downstairs, and their friends, to play outside, making racket until all hours of the night. Because it's not too late, I don't really mind that they are playing around outside and yelling. They don't have a playground or a yard, really, since it's an apartment building so it wasn't too big of a deal. Until I heard them running around on the back steps leading to my apartment.

They have no business being up there and I really don't need children yelling and screaming right outside my door, up to mischevious behavior so I decided to grab a smoke and go outside.

By the time I got outside they were no longer on the stairs leading to my apartment but they were still at the back of the building playing around. I decided to sit and enjoy my cigarette and act as a deterrent should they decide to come running up the steps again.

I was privvy to a barrage of foul language on the part of the youngest child out there. I got up and leaned over the railing to look down and spied one child at the water hose faucet helping Mr. Nasty Mouth control the water in which to spray a third child, unseen as he was around the corner. The water control boy got up and saw me watching them and went to the opposite corner of the building to hide in the shadows just as Mr. Nasty Mouth asked him to turn on the water again.

During all of this however, Mr. Nasty Mouth was telling Unseen Boy that he:

"Fucked your grandmother last night"


"I fucked your girlfriend last night too. I fucked your other girlfriend the night before bitch."

What an adorable little boy! How charming he is! His parents must be so proud! Oh, wait, where the fuck are they? That's right, not around again.

The first child pointed out to Mr. Nasty Mouth that I was there by announcing, "The lady!!" at which point Mr. Nasty Mouth looked up and saw me. I asked him, "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

He instantly clammed up, looked down at his shoes and went around the corner of the building to hide his shame. Oh yes, there was much shame on his face. He got caught saying really foul things by "the lady" and he was embarrassed.

Guess what? That's right. All three children have decided it's time to go indoors now. To their respective homes, you know, where you live, where you are, where you can watch them and preferably discipline them for their extremely colorful language?

Please, please tell me why it is that I can hear your children cursing up a storm, talking about sexual escapades they had with elderly women at the ripe old age of 10, and you can't. How is that? I don't have super powers that enable me to hear things that other people cannot so why do you sit in your home and ignore the fact that your child needs a serious visit with Mr. Bar of Soap and a few discussions about watching his mouth around a building which houses elderly women and other children and their mothers. Not to mention women such as myself who are just trying to have a life and aren't particularly interested in hearing young boys talking so flippantly about fucking this chick or that.

Now is the time for you to curb that behavior. Please remember, though, these are your children, not mine. It is your job to see that they are brought up correctly and show respect to others. So far you are doing a piss poor job of it and I'm getting really close to demanding a portion of that tax cut that I mentioned before.

I shouldn't have to do this. Your child responds well to someone calling him out on his actions so why aren't you doing it?

If it's a matter of being unable to afford a bar of soap, I will happily supply you with one. All you need to do is let me know.

Thank you and have yourself yet again another pleasant evening as your children run around the complex making fools of themselves, depending on every other adult besides their parents to keep an eye on them while you sit in your apartment doing who knows what. What we do know is you are not parenting.

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at April 29, 2005 09:52 PM

The language of some kids is unbelievable. I would never have sworn in front of adults when I was growing up. I think the media and music industry is partly to blame, but too many parents don't teach kids what is appropriate.

Posted by: Ruth at April 29, 2005 10:06 PM
Post a comment

Remember personal info?