October 30, 2005

That Bitch!

Trying this again. Stupid keyboard! I don't have any power and will probaly not have any until mid to end of November. I am currently using the WebTV at the hotel I'm staying in to provide this update.

Lots of photos, video footage of the storm from my house and stories to come. Please be patient. I would write more here today but I can't stand this shitty keyboard the hotel has.

Stay tuned...and hopefully I will actually have power by Thanksgiving. If not, enjoy your turkey, bitches and think of me, eating YET another can of cold ass food and crackers with cheese from a can.

At least I don't have to boil my water anymore before I can drink it or bathe in it AND at least, so far, my building has not been codemned by FEMA and the fire people like 10 or so in my neighborhood have been. So far. Cross fingers.

I know that the rest of the world has moved on and probably doesn't even remember the name of the hurricane but we here in S. Florida are still dealing with the effects. Just think how those who suffered through Katrina are feeling.

More later...maybe much later, but later.

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at 01:16 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 23, 2005


Wilma's coming...don't know when I'll be back. Not sure how bad it will be here and if I will lose power. So far it's a Cat 2 and I'm prepared to ride it out at home as I live in a concrete building, off the ground floor, have a large building between me and the ocean and live on the east side of the state.

It's going to cause problems of course, just don't know how much. I've got my water bottles all filled up and in the freezer as well as Ziploc baggies filled with water in their as well should I lose power. (Keeps the food colder longer and I still have water when it melts.) Got my wind up NOAA radio, flashlight, candles, cell phone charged, (Sail Girl...prepare to hear from me tomorrow), and hope.

Food rations are low in this house but I do have two canisters of Slim Jims so it's not like I'll starve. Pets have plenty of food and water so I think we'll be okay. The weather for Tuesday and Wednesday is going to be nice and cool, (low 70's and 60's!!!! Yay!) so should be fine there.

I'll take tons of photos, maybe some footage with the digicam and will get back here with an update when I can. Who knows..maybe I won't lose power like I didn't in the last one. I hope nothing falls on my car. I put too much money in that thing recently and really don't want to lose it. Hope it doesn't flood either. Time will tell.

See you on the other side of the storm.

[Update-1:49am]: Well fuck, here it comes. After waiting this whole time for it to finally show, Wilma has finally started to arrive. And it's a Cat 3. Son of a bitch. I have only three thoughts right now:

1) Don't fuck with my house
2) Don't fuck with my car
3) Don't fuck with my power

We'll see how many of my wishes are granted. Updates to arrive whenever I can get back on should I lose out on wish #3. Or #1. I'm sure I'll be okay, I'm just sure it won't be fun.


Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at 01:38 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

October 18, 2005

Change The Motto To Fit

So tonight after work I went into the local Publix, (grocery store), to gather a few items I needed. Every time I go into Publix I get a taste of the Miami that so many complain about. There is a darker side to this city that the travel guides don't tell you. Many, many people in this city are extremely rude. They lack manners, social skills, pleasantness and patience. The employees at this Publix, (on the beach), are no different and have absolutely no manners and no clue what customer service is about.

I went in, grabbed my little basket and walked around getting the things I needed but was unable to find one particular item. Any normal person would think, after looking for a few minutes, that they might be able to ask one of the apron wearing Publix employees where a certain item might be located.

Apparently NOT! I approached the first employee, he had his back turned to me so I waited patiently. He started to turn around, saw me out of the corner of his eye and quickly turned back around to pretend he didn't see me. I then asked him if he knew where the Jell-o was. He pretended not to hear me. I asked again. Then I stood and waited for a response.

That seemed to piss him off and he seethed, "Nine! NINE!" Wow! I stood there for a half a second, stunned and he wheeled around, glared at me and said, "NINE!!!!!"

I'm guessing he's gonna be up for employee of the month soon, what with that stellar attitude.

I got to aisle nine and naturally, the item was not in there. I had to search out another employee, but this was tricky and fun because I had to find one who a) spoke any English at all and b) knew what Jell-o was. Not as simple as one might think since this is Miami afterall and while most jobs expect you to be bi-lingual, meaning speak Spanish, they don't, apparently, expect the Spanish speakers to be bilingual and speak English.

Finally I found one, he pointed me in the right direction and I went to the aisle with the Jell-o. As I was deciding on which flavors to buy, another Publix employee felt the need to let me know that I was IN HIS WAY. He needed to scan things and he needed to scan them right now and how DARE I stand in front of the shelf of goods that he wanted to scan RIGHT THAT VERY FUCKING SECOND. It didn't matter that I had been there, looking, well before he ever came into that row to work, no! I am a rude son of a bitch because I had the audacity to go shopping after work. He stepped in between me and the shelf and scanned a few things. Then he stepped back, I resumed deciding and the next thing I know, I see this arm coming at my face. The employee was making dramatic moves, stretching and scanning the products in front of my face and sighing the entire time to let me know what a complete and total burden I was being to him.

I'm gonna guess he's also in the running for employee of the month, perhaps for his charisma?

Eventually I got what I needed and headed up to the check out counter. I stood in line and waited patiently again. The person in front of me apparently did not know how to use the debit/credit card machine so the checker came from behind her register, around to our side to assist him. That would have been nice and all if she didn't fucking walk as slowly as a human being could possibly walk, taking her time, looking around, before eventually coming to our side. She snailed her way through the transaction and proceeded to walk back around to the register excrutiatingly slowly once again, looking around the store, taking a very wide berth around the bags...so wide that I, for a split second, wondered if she was going to just keep walking or come back to the register. What should have taken only three seconds to do took her almost a minute. Each way. That is not an exaggeration, that is how slow she walked.

It was at this time that I noticed the nametag on her shirt. It had her name and the Publix store motto that said something like, "A pleasant shopping experience".

My fucking ass it was pleasant.

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at 02:52 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 07, 2005

There Are No Victimless Crimes

From the police blotter:

Date and time: On or around October 7, 2005 5:30pm
Victim: S. Faolan Wolf
Incident: Attempted burglary and arson
Suspect: One black feline

Police have arrested a black, male feline in connection with a burglary and arson attempt at the residence of an S. Faolan Wolf. He was taken downtown and booked into the Cat County Jail. The incident occurred at approximately 5:30pm on the 7th of October, 2005. An innocent victim was in her home when the suspect allegedly attempted to steal from her and set her house on fire.

Witness statement:

"I was sitting at my desk playing computer games when I noticed a peculiar smell. It smelled like electric or burning hair.

Next to my desk is the a/c unit and a fan that were both going so I decided to turn them off. I sniffed around seeing if that might be the source of the smell but again, couldn't really decipher if it was. I decided to take the filter out of the a/c and clean it just for safety's sake, (do this once a month anyway), and as I made my way out to the living room, I noticed the smell got stronger.

I said to myself, 'Self! Where is it coming from? Is it my apartment? Someone elses?' I followed the scent into the kitchen where I discovered one of those fucking irritating, hate them with a passion, knobs on the gas stove turned on and the gas and flame going on a burner.

'Tha hell', I thought? 'I didn't turn that thing on! Do I have a ghost? How does a gas stove just turn itself on? I hate these damn things!' I then quickly put two and two together, really before I consciously realized my thought and turned to look at the suspect who is notorious for trying to get into the trash.

He was sitting on the couch, staring at me, acting innocent. As I walked closer to him, the smell of burning hair grew stronger. I picked him up and investigated him. That cat's underbelly fur was all singed up. I felt around and poked and prodded him to see if he yelped in pain and looked for burnt flesh but it appears all he did was singe a great portion of his fur. He said nothing to me, only stared. He tried to act like he had done nothing but the evidence was there. It's so sad, really. I've known him since he was a wee lad and it's gut wrenching to see him turn to a life of crime."

The investigation reveals that said cat, on the 7th of October, allegedly did jump up on to the gas stove to get to the garbage in order to steal from the victim. In the process of his burglaring, he set the gas stove alight and almost caught himself and the apartment on fire. The victim states that it's a "damn good thing" she played hooky from work today as she wouldn't have normally been home for another 4 hours.

Said cat was treated at the scene and released to authorities. As the officer's hauled the suspect away, he was noted to have yelled out something about contacting the Rev. Jesse Jackson and something about a deck of race cards. His trial begins on Monday.

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at 05:57 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

October 04, 2005

I Asked For This

I did. I asked for my life to be boring for awhile as excitement and adventure, (otherwise known as crapped up situations I find myself in), cost me too much money and I wanted things to be quiet for awhile so that my finances could recup.

And it has been just that. And wow, boring is really...hard. I suppose some drama may be entering soon as I wonder how long I'll be keeping my job.

The other day I was talking to a customer on the phone who didn't like the fact that I couldn't find some of her information in our database. Which, you know, is entirely my fault because I am all my co-workers combined, I know exactly why they do what they do, I can read their minds and control them so it is because of me that someone spelled the name wrong on the account, hence why I couldn't find it. Of course none of that matters because if the customer had done her job, we wouldn't have been having that long, drawn out, agonizing conversation anyway. You know the kind. The kind that make you feel physically sick inside simply because you know they are going to be long and full of insults. The ones where the customer says, "you people" and "you did this" (to which I often reply, "I did?" and they say, "No, not you, the company" and then either calm down or get further excited because I corrected them by asking a simple question. Which, of course, is implied that I'm telling them, "Dude, fuck off, I didn't do shit" and they know it but they can't complain to anyone about it because it will make them look like idiots and that ticks them off and how I love it and they know I love it and they know it will continue because we are both fucking mentally ill to be in this business anyway.) You know, those.

Where the customer bitches you out up one side and down the other for something they didn't do even though we send them information every single time they call and it is their job to receive that information and call us back if anything is incorrect? The information they had on their desk for the past two months before they bothered to inquire about a certain account two days before it was due to cancel for lack of payment but couldn't be bothered to a) look at it or b) have the information with them when they called up? Those lovely conversations.

So the bitch hollered and carried on and worked herself up into a righteous fit and demanded a supervisor. Gladly. I put her on mute and was getting ready to get her that wish.

Except that apparently my mute button doesn't work and she overheard the conversation I had with my co-worker about the customer needing to speak to a supervisor and my co-worker said, "Tell her to speak to my butthole".

Yah..that was fun.

Actually it was. I cracked up all day that day, even on my drive home. Thankfully it was dark as I drove home so that other drivers could not see me, sitting in my car, laughing hysterically, in tears.

Wouldn't have been funny if I had lost my job but it's a mark there in the sup's mind.

Nothing else is going on. Nothing. While my bank account is breathing a sigh of relief, I'm at a loss as to what to do with myself. I don't like crisis but it seems I've been met with so many that came non stop over the years, literally, year after year after year, that now that I have some time to relax, I can't get comfortable.

And that's really, truly sad.

But who knows...maybe I'll soon have one coming, as I said as I kind of had it out today with that same supervisor in regards to his constant interrupting whenever I try to bring a situation to his attention. Seriously, he doesn't listen and I never can finish a sentence. So, tonight, as it happened again, I simply folded my hands in front of me and stated, "I don't think I'm being listened to."

Well! I may as well have told him to shut his fucking mouth for how pissy he got. He wet his britches and let loose on me like I was a 5 year old, to which I lost control of my tongue and smart mouthed him back before finally shutting up and turning my back on him.

Another mark.

I'm patient but I can only be treated rudely for so long before I stand up and say something. Apparently people don't like it when you point out when they've been behaving badly. No matter how nice and calm you say it.

Anyway, have one more movie to watch for this week and then I'll do my weekly movie reviews.

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at 11:36 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack