Nomen Est Omen

Change The Motto To Fit

So tonight after work I went into the local Publix, (grocery store), to gather a few items I needed. Every time I go into Publix I get a taste of the Miami that so many complain about. There is a darker side to this city that the travel guides don't tell you. Many, many people in this city are extremely rude. They lack manners, social skills, pleasantness and patience. The employees at this Publix, (on the beach), are no different and have absolutely no manners and no clue what customer service is about.

I went in, grabbed my little basket and walked around getting the things I needed but was unable to find one particular item. Any normal person would think, after looking for a few minutes, that they might be able to ask one of the apron wearing Publix employees where a certain item might be located.

Apparently NOT! I approached the first employee, he had his back turned to me so I waited patiently. He started to turn around, saw me out of the corner of his eye and quickly turned back around to pretend he didn't see me. I then asked him if he knew where the Jell-o was. He pretended not to hear me. I asked again. Then I stood and waited for a response.

That seemed to piss him off and he seethed, "Nine! NINE!" Wow! I stood there for a half a second, stunned and he wheeled around, glared at me and said, "NINE!!!!!"

I'm guessing he's gonna be up for employee of the month soon, what with that stellar attitude.

I got to aisle nine and naturally, the item was not in there. I had to search out another employee, but this was tricky and fun because I had to find one who a) spoke any English at all and b) knew what Jell-o was. Not as simple as one might think since this is Miami afterall and while most jobs expect you to be bi-lingual, meaning speak Spanish, they don't, apparently, expect the Spanish speakers to be bilingual and speak English.

Finally I found one, he pointed me in the right direction and I went to the aisle with the Jell-o. As I was deciding on which flavors to buy, another Publix employee felt the need to let me know that I was IN HIS WAY. He needed to scan things and he needed to scan them right now and how DARE I stand in front of the shelf of goods that he wanted to scan RIGHT THAT VERY FUCKING SECOND. It didn't matter that I had been there, looking, well before he ever came into that row to work, no! I am a rude son of a bitch because I had the audacity to go shopping after work. He stepped in between me and the shelf and scanned a few things. Then he stepped back, I resumed deciding and the next thing I know, I see this arm coming at my face. The employee was making dramatic moves, stretching and scanning the products in front of my face and sighing the entire time to let me know what a complete and total burden I was being to him.

I'm gonna guess he's also in the running for employee of the month, perhaps for his charisma?

Eventually I got what I needed and headed up to the check out counter. I stood in line and waited patiently again. The person in front of me apparently did not know how to use the debit/credit card machine so the checker came from behind her register, around to our side to assist him. That would have been nice and all if she didn't fucking walk as slowly as a human being could possibly walk, taking her time, looking around, before eventually coming to our side. She snailed her way through the transaction and proceeded to walk back around to the register excrutiatingly slowly once again, looking around the store, taking a very wide berth around the bags...so wide that I, for a split second, wondered if she was going to just keep walking or come back to the register. What should have taken only three seconds to do took her almost a minute. Each way. That is not an exaggeration, that is how slow she walked.

It was at this time that I noticed the nametag on her shirt. It had her name and the Publix store motto that said something like, "A pleasant shopping experience".

My fucking ass it was pleasant.

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at October 18, 2005 02:52 AM | TrackBack