You know what is really fun? It's when a "friend" calls you up to tell you how she won tickets in a contest that allow her and 8 of her friends to go out to a martini lounge and get free drinks and food and all she does is talk about how cool it is, how close the place is to you, how much fun they are going to have and does not invite you to come along.
Until the very end of the conversation when she realizes, "oops!" and then says, "You can come if you want! I'll come pick you up." But by this time you're feeling like an afterthought and not in the least bit amused by any of this so you say, "Ah, I'm sure your dance card is full. It's okay." But no! NO! She replies that she has plenty of room! Come along! It will be fun!
After awhile you agree although you still have a sour taste in your mouth about the whole fucking thing...but, you agree because you hardly ever get to spend any time with her and aren't you friends? Why the hell do you not ever do anything together? So, yes, you say, you'll go.
That's when she decides to back track and state, "I just have to wait for so and so to email me and let me know if she's going or not. If she is she is bringing two of her friends but she probably won't go because she has kids..." (Um, hi, that means she IS going...specifically because she has kids and this means free night out, dumbass), "so I'll email you after I get off work to let you know when I'll be by to pick you up."
Now, you know better. You know damn good and well what is about to happen, don't you? Yah, so did I. That's why I didn't even bother to get ready for anything except bed that night. As you may have guessed, the "friend" never bothered to email me at all. No phone call was made, no knock on the door when she arrived to say, "Let's go!" because she didn't arrive.
Wow did I feel fucking special that day! I got glanced over for two friends of a friend..people she didn't even fucking know?
The next day, to pour just a tablespoon more salt in to that wound, she called me up to announce the hangover she had from such a fun! and great! night! Whee!
I distinctly remember thinking that I hoped it hurt like bloody fucking hell, I hoped she puked up the remaining half of her brain and that I would not be calling her "friend" anymore....and promptly ignored her for months and months.
She kept writing and writing and trying to contact me..not once did she mention the invitation or that night.
And that? Is enough for me because that is the second time she's done something like that to me. The first time was when she invited me out for dinner on my mother fucking birthday and never showed.
I was looking forward to that. I was excited about it. Not a phone call, not an email, no indication that the invitation was ever offered. After some time she asked why I was not speaking to her and I informed her of the non birthday dinner. Her reply? Surely I must have made that up! She didn't invite me to dinner for my birthday!
OH yah! Cause that makes things SO MUCH BETTER NOW DOESN'T IT!? That makes me feel a hell of a lot more warm and fuzzy inside!
She did finally relent, after I told her that she most certainly DID invite me, I don't just make shit like that up, does she think I'm fucking crazy? Is that what she really thinks of me? And she apologized.
But here we are, again. Fuck this. I'm done.
I don't need "friends" who make me feel that shitty. That? Hurt.
I was thinking about things the other day because apparently a neighbor and a co-worker both have crushes on me. First of all, I'm not so sure I'm ready for another relationship right now...not after that last doozy. It would be nice to meet the right person because being single, while very nice and fun at times, can be rather lonely. It would be nice to have someone to count on, be part of a team, have a best friend there with you for all kinds of things...plus, ya know, the other stuff that goes with it but I seem to keep meeting the wrong people.
I started to think about these two who have crushes on me and what it might be like to date them. The neighbor...nice enough but I don't think so. He's racist, for one and while I respect that he isn't one of those who hides it, he is also downright disgusting about it. I don't like that at all. I'm not in to racist people. He's also a big whiner. All he does is whine or have some negative thing to say about almost anything. He does offer to help a lot and I've seen him interact with other people...he can strike up a conversation with anyone and that is endearing but I can't get past the racist thing. Plus, I'm not really attracted to him and he's separated. I'm not even getting in to that mess. So, no.
The other one, the co-worker...at times I get a little flutter but he also whines a lot. While I was thinking about these two it hit me. I have gone out with a lot of pansy assed guys.
I don't like pansy assed guys. I don't want some caveman type who thinks it's okay to drag women around by their hair and instruct them on what to do all the time but I don't want a guy who acts like a little sissy either. I want a guy who acts like a man. I'm not one of those women libbers and I do think guys and girls have different roles....to an extent. I'm no more going to be Mrs. Cleaver any more than I want them to be an overbearing, demanding, stinky, messy, drunken pig.
I'm caught between two worlds. The meterosexuals, as they are apparently called now, are the good looking guys. My GOD some of them are delicious looking. But they have a tendency to be high maintenance, just like some girls, anal, and very set in their ways; no leniency at all.
I like the attitudes of the country boys, barring any racism, because they are hard working, humble, not afraid to be men and the good ones take care of their own.
But trying to find someone who fits both of those....well, seems to be pretty impossible. In fact, I don't think that bird actually exists in nature. So, I think I may just be single for the rest of my life. People tell me all the time that I'm too picky but the way I see it, if I'm going to spend the rest of my life with someone, shouldn't I be?
I refuse to settle just because other people tell me I'm supposed to be married by now. And, stealing the line from the movie, "Some Kind of Wonderful", 'I'd rather be alone for the right reasons than together for the wrong ones.'
And, I guess what is right in my life is that I be alone. One thing is for sure, before I ever date again, I'm going to make sure the guy isn't a farkin p**sy. I can't stand guys like that...and that's why none of my relationships in the past have ever worked out. In a short amount of time, that comes to the surface and it's a total turn off.
Guys....BE guys. With respect. Leave the whining to the high school girls.