Nomen Est Omen

Love Chiropractor

I have been going to a chiropractor for years due to an injury but have not been to one in about three years. I needed, in a very bad way, an adjustment. Yesterday I went and got the x-rays done and the consultation but because their developer was down, the x-rays could not be finished until today after they got a part. No adjustment. I wanted to sob.

I went in again today and my back is so fucked up...which I already knew..but let me tell you how fucked up it is. In your neck, you are supposed to have a curve. I not only do not have that curve, my neck is so fricken bad that it has started to curve in the opposite direction. Yes.

Further, where I'm not supposed to have a curve, in the mid to lower back, I got myself a nice one. I knew this, I knew exactly why I had the pain I do and I knew the chiro was going to see a seriously fucked up spine like he hasn't seen in some time. Most people, while they may have back problems, do not have the major issues that I do or other accident victims have.

To be quite truthful? I was reaaaaaaaaaal close to becoming paralyzed in that accident. I embrace the pain for that reason alone.

Today I got an adjustment. My headache went away for a wee bit, sort of, but is starting to come back. (Expected.) My legs? For the first time in years....and I mean years, I am sitting here feeling minimal to no pain in my legs.

Let me bring that home to you: For over half a decade I have had NON stop pain in my legs. Not one second of relief. Not even a half of a second. Today? For the first time since my accident? My legs feel like normal people legs. I'm so used to them being in pain that I have grown accustomed to it, although some days are really bad, and my mind has been able to block that pain out. So it was quite a shock when I got home and was putting my bag down and I realized, "Holy shit! My legs don't hurt! OH MY GOD!" My neck still hurts but my legs don't. I'll take what I can get.

Man, my back was popping all over the place today. The first thing he did kind of hurt but I bore through it because I know from experience that I will feel better at the end. Then he popped my back all the way up....when he did my neck...I tensed up a little bit because that always scares me. It's at that exact moment, when my head is between their hands and I know they are about to wrench it to the right and then the left that I start questioning their credentials. Kind of late to be doing that then but I wait till then to horrify myself in my mind:

"Yah he has all those licenses on the wall but what if he was the worst of the class?"

"How do I know those are real licenses?"

"What if this is one of those doctors that had their licenses taken away and were told never to practice here again but he just moved to a new city and state and set up shop and no one has caught on yet and I'm about to have my neck broken by someone who isn't supposed to be practicing! Why am I so stupid!?"

I hate the neck cracking. It scares the shit out of me. It works...but it's still scary so even though I know it works and I knew what was coming and I knew I was supposed to just relax, I did tense up at the last second and so it did hurt a little.

When he was done popping the shit out of my spine, I got up and felt really, really light. I felt almost loopy. I felt so fucking good...I felt like I felt before the accident. I felt like non injured people feel. It was like a high.

I go back next Tuesday to go over the x-rays with him, develop a schedule and get to cracking, (har! no pun intended), on fixing my spine so that one day, I'll feel right again. It's going to be intense and it's going to cost a lot....well, the insurance company anyway, I only pay $20 each time but it will be worth it.

It's either this or live in pain for the rest of my life until it's too late to do a damn thing.

If you have no spinal injuries or whatever...count those blessings. Seriously. How you feel daily is like a drug to me. Now, I need to go lie down and enjoy this feeling for as long as it lasts.

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at December 9, 2005 08:31 PM | TrackBack