June 12, 2005

Please Tell Me...

Mr. "Sit Out In Front Of My Building With My Posse Every Day" Dude, please, please tell me, when you hiss at me:

"Ssssssst! mamacita! I like your pants! Come here. Come here! I can show you a good time!",

just how exactly you expect to show me that good time when it's apparent you don't work as you are always sitting in front of your building with your friends who also apparently don't work so obviously you must be living with your mama. Please, please explain.

And while I'm asking questions here, has that ever worked for you? Hissing at a girl like a snake? Seriously, tell me, have you ever had any history of sssssssing at a girl and having her fall to her knees, begging you to take her, right then and there, pants be damned?

Further, what IS that stain on that wife beater? What the hell is that? Is that from a bloody nose? A ketchup stain? Beer? Salsa? WHAT? Do you not have a full length mirror in your mama's house? Oh, yes, those stains are quite sexy but I'm afraid I simply cannot move on in this fantastic, daily relationship until I know what that substance on your tank top is.

And thank you. Thank you for pointing out that I have a nice, round ass. I was completely unaware of that until you told me last week. And the day after that and the day after that and the day after that and the day after that. In fact, if it wasn't for you, I may not have noticed I was a girl with girly type features but I must ensure that I thank God in my prayers when I get home at night for bringing you into my life to point out the obvious.

I'd also like to thank you for undressing me, right there in the middle of the street, in broad daylight, with your leering eyes, taking it all in, licking your lips, swiping your tongue in and out of your mouth as your eyes grew bigger in fantasized anticipation. I simply cannot thank you enough for eye raping me as i walked to the store to get a cannister of cat litter. It's just what I was hoping to encounter and you did not let me down. I'm so blessed.

Last but not least, please, please, I beg of thee, please blow smoke in my face suggestively, again, the next time I pass by you. I can't possibly tell you what it does to me. You told me once before, after I told you to go fuck yourself, that you liked them "fiesty". Oh, adonis, I've yet to show you just how fiesty I can get. Say good bye to your balls because I'll be removing them with my fists the next time I see you.

Au revoir mon cherie.

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at June 12, 2005 05:49 AM

Hey, baby, I really like your pants! Is that a cotton blend? They look really comfortable.

The sad part? The hissing works. But only on women with low enough self-esteem that they happily pounce on any attention they get.

But, no, really, those pants? Really nice. I like 'em.

Posted by: Maine at June 12, 2005 11:30 AM

What a loser. These deadshits still think they are attractive to women for some reason. And gawd knows there are enough of them to go around.

Posted by: Ruth at June 13, 2005 03:38 AM

I wish I got that kind of attention from ladies.

Posted by: JJ at June 13, 2005 09:29 PM

Hahahaha!!! yeah, that's always fun. What do these fucktards think they're doing??

This sort of thing enrages me, but you made me laugh!

Posted by: lingling at June 17, 2005 10:32 PM
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