May 18, 2005

Deathbeds and DJ's

I'd like to take a moment to thank you all for your deep concern about my absence the past few days. The hordes of email questioning my whereabouts were touching.

Oh wait, no one cared. No one cared that I was on my deathbed, dying of an illness that cleverly disguised itself as the common cold/flu nor that I am still half deaf from it and probably damaged my esophagus along the way. Poor me.

Anyway, before I go back and continue the fierce battle against death, good and evil clashing in an effort to rescue this obvious angel from the grasps of all that is unholy, here's something else that no one cares about: Where eligible, the fact that you're a DJ.

I've worked in bars before and have frequented many bars in my lifetime and while I was treated well by the DJ's working in my bar, I still noticed how uppity they acted towards patrons as if they were celebrities. I guess it never occurred to them that they are nothing more than album spinners and the fact that they haul their equipment out of a beat up 1984 Honda seems to escape their fantasy lives. It's something I've always wanted to write about, pretentious, snotty DJ's but as always, you wait too long and someone, or more than one, will beat you to it.

So here are my thoughts on DJ's even though they were written by someone else. Trust me, indeed nobody really does give a damn that you are a DJ so take out those ridiculous contacts, realize that swim goggles doubling as eyeglasses actually make you look like a fucking retard, settle down on the chains and attitude and just spin the damn records.

I realize that there are really stupid people who go out to clubs and harrass the DJ while they are busy working by asking them to play their "favorite" song next, (despite the fact that their supposed "favorite" song is what is currently playing), or demanding things from the DJ or just being all out pests....that happens frequently. However, I also know that DJs like to piss and whine about how hard their life is while secretly soaking up the smattering of attention they receive and allow such incidents to go to their head, swelling their ego.

Yes we need DJs and yes we appreciate them bringing us great music but as the post from the link says, you are not rock stars, you are not celebrities, you are not the cream of the crop, end all, be all, ultimate cool guy "in da house". You're a DJ. That's it. Get off your high turntable and realize that 99% of you are just employees of a bar or club. Nothing more.

Of course the same thing could be said for some bloggers out there. Just because 1/4 of a percent of the population reads your site doesn't mean you are the shit. Do us all a favor and get the hell over yourself. Which, I just discovered, the same blogger who wrote about hoity toity DJs just wrote my thoughts about bloggers too. Adore Me! I'm A Blogger Now!. Gottdamnit, this keeps up my future posts will all be, "read this guy's site for what I've been thinking and wish I would have said first". I hate when people are more clever than me. It pisses me off. Now I have to admire someone else besides myself. That's unacceptable.

Whatever, it's time for me to crawl back in bed and feel sorry for myself because I am sick and no one cares and that guy I linked to has invaded my brain and written about things I've wanted to write about or have written about, way better than me and it looks like he will continue to do so. Fuck it, I'll just consume a gallon of ice cream and feel better tomorrow.

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at May 18, 2005 03:18 PM

amen! I used to be in the party scene in undergrad--I even owned a production company and threw some parties. it was absolutely ridiculous. these people thought they were THE celebrity at studio 54. now everyone's a dj. your dork neighbor is a dj, your mailman doubles as a dj, your cousin's a dj--everyone's a freakin' dj dragging around their stupid record cases with them.
I just graduated law school and i have to tell you, the only thing more annoying than djs are fledgling lawyers. goddamn they talk too much and think every stupid piece of advice that comes out of their mouths is a holy scripture to be cherished and followed.
everyone needs to get off their high horse.
anyway, sorry you almost died.

Posted by: jin at May 18, 2005 10:29 PM

Of course we care, and any chance you wish to email me and explain to me in great detail how to do that menu thingy?? :)

Posted by: Angie at May 18, 2005 11:16 PM

Sorry I didn't catch that you were sick. My Betazoid powers have been on the blink for a week now, and the repairman still hasn't shown up.

Posted by: Jeffro at May 18, 2005 11:49 PM

Hope you're feeling better! Exactly right about DJ's too.

Posted by: Ruth at May 19, 2005 03:00 AM

Drink plenty of fluids and rest. I hope you feel well soon.

Posted by: Annie at May 19, 2005 10:20 AM
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