Nomen Est Omen

We Don't Need No Stinking Back Up Site!

So the site was down for a spell and it would be in your best interest to at least pretend you knew that.

Some sort of insect has made a smorgasboard out of me the past two nights. I'm feeling pretty with all my red welts on my legs and arms. Just in time for all the celebrities who will be coming out for the Video Music Awards hosted in my city. Have I mentioned what incredible timing I have? Oh it's the best!

I'm off Sunday so I'm going to see if I can get down there and sneak photos of some stars like a ridiculous groupie with the exception that I'm doing it all for you. I'm willing to look like an ass just for you guys. I know! I AM giving!

I have started carrying my camera around with me because I see some strange and interesting things around here these days. For example: Yesterday as I was getting ready for work, I went to look out my window, (I do this every day as a reminder that I live in paradise-kind of like my 'zen' moment if you will), and I saw signs on the doors of the apartment building across the way. I whipped out my binoculars and read:

"DANGER! Serious lethal poisoning..." That'll jolt you wide awake. I was going to snap a photo of it but by the time I got home the signs were down. They managed to remove a seriously lethal poison out of all of those apartments in less than 9 hours? I don't know if I'll ever be able to find out what happened because I don't speak Spanish so I'll leave you with this thought:

On the way home the other day I took a nice, scenic route down the street with all the richie rich rich houses where the speed limit is 30. I came across a sign that said, "Don't even think about speeding" So what happens if I think about it? And how can I not think about it now that they have brought the thought to my attention? I wasn't thinking of speeding before but I see this sign and now that's all I can think about. Will this argument work in front of a judge should I get pulled over for thinking of speeding? And how would I argue my way out of a ticket like that?

Officer: "Do you know how fast you were thinking of going?"

Me: "I was only thinking of going 35!"

Officer: "We clocked you thinking of going 110, ma'am."

Me: "Oh I hardly think that's correct. I don't even think my mind goes up that high. Maybe I was thinking of going 80 but certainly not 110 sir!"

Officer: "License and registration ma'am."

Unless it's a motorcycle cop, then there's no point in arguing. Well anyway, thought police aside, time for me to go through my hurricane kit and see if I have everything I need. So far tropical storm Katrina seems relatively harmless but nature has a way of being a real bitch sometimes so I better double check things.

You know the only part that sucks is that I have to work those days and if it does become a hurricane either:

a) They'll give us the days off which is good for safety reasons, especially cause I don't want to leave my cats here alone while the storm passes over, (I'm reaaaaaaaaal close to the ocean, see?) but is bad because that means less money in my pocket.

b) They won't give us the day off and I'll have to worry about my pets all day long and do I still have a house to go home to, CAN I get home, the traffic will be a mess, water everywhere, trees, power lines....BAH!

Sigh. I know they will act according to safety first but Katrina just needs to keep her windy ass calm and pass over quietly.

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at August 24, 2005 03:56 PM | TrackBack