June 07, 2005

I'm Not A Total Dork

Today I am anxiously awaiting a package. I keep checking the tracking on said package and pacing back and forth in my house while day dreaming about what me and the package will do first. I'm as excited as a child just before Christmas time. I'm giddy, restless, eager and full of boundless joy. In a few short hours my new friend will be here. My beautiful, shiny new friend.

The package I'm waiting on is a vacuum cleaner.

So at the same time I'm excited as hell for this thing to get here so I can plug it in and go into a frenzied cleaning, I'm a little concerned that I'm excited as hell for this thing to get here so I can plug it in and go into a frenzied cleaning.

Does this make me old? Am I officially old? Am I really at the point in my life where if you offered me a night on the town or a vacuum cleaner I'd grab the cleaning apparatus with the gusto of a lonely male to a prostitute?

In other news, I just joined Netflix last week and got my first shipment of DVDs. I had heard about this service a long time ago and for some foolish reason, never checked into it. I'm an idiot. This service is awesome!

The old way: Go get a membership at some local video store. Have them scrutinize you, do a background check, take a sample of your blood, hold a dollar amount on your credit card "just in case you don't return the movie", charge you if you are even one minute late returning the movie, always out of the releases you want, snotty teenagers behind the counter, etc. etc. etc.

The new way: From the comfort of your home, perhaps even while lounging around in your underwear while seated at your body molding computer chair, browse the 40,000 (yes), titles, add them to your queue in the order you wish to receive them, (up to 500 at a time), and then sit back and wait for the postman to deliver. You can get the movies in as little as one day. (Unless you are like me and wait until Thursday night at 11:45pm to start browsing, in which case they'll send the movies out the next day but you may not get them till Monday.) Get the movies, watch them at your liesure, return them whenever the hell you want, don't get attitude, no dirty looks, no charges or lectures, hell, you're even provided with a pre-paid envelope so that your lazy ass doesn't have to make a trip to the post office and stand in line while one teller helps the 30 people waiting and all other postal workers just wander in giving you false hope that they might open another window before crushing those dreams and wandering out again, and then they'll send you the next batch of DVDs on your list.

How fucking awesome is this?! And? The best thing of all? You can rent as many fricken movies as you want, getting sent up to three at a time, for only $18 a month.

I think I may have just died and gone to heaven. My social life will also be suffering greatly because I have 126 movies in my queue right now and I just got started browsing. Oh yah, if I average about 6 movies a week, I'm not going anywhere for almost 6 months. Even though I live in the sunshine state, my skin will become pale and ghostly because I will not be going out except for the mandatory bi-weekly excursion, (the whole two blocks), to the ocean to remind myself that I live in the best place on earth.

Anyhoo, because of this I have decided that perhaps I may start writing reviews. Now, I'm not a good review writer by any stretch of the imagination so my reviews will not be your typical read. Don't ask for that, don't tell me my reviews are garbage and would never get published...because, duh, I know this. I'm not going to discuss why the plot didn't work or the protagonist is an unbelievable character...because I frankly don't care about that pretentious crap. I'm just going to say what I liked about the movie or what I didn't. So don't get uppity with me.

Anyway, the first set of things I ordered were the Yes, Minister series from the BBC. As the opening credits were playing, I realized I had seen these when I was a little kid. I didn't see much, however because the drawings of the characters with the horrifying long noses scared me. I was only maybe 10 or so but I remember those drawings and the moving eyeball when the drawing was completed and those stupid things scared me so much that I went to my room to hide. Which is alright considering I would have been too young to understand the humor in these shows but today?

OH MY GOD! This is some funny shit people. We've all gotten to the point of almost distaste when it comes to politics so, even though this is British politics, you can remove MP and put in Senator or whatever title you want to make it US politics, and you will realize the humor in it all. Also what this has done is make me look at political bloggers with a hell of a lot more humor...as in, their posts make me laugh because they take the shit far too seriously.

So, tired of politics? Rent, "Yes, Minister" series and decompress from the whole thing. Besides, it's British comedy...you really can't go wrong there.

I am now off to watch disk 3 of the series while waiting on my precious. Mmmm...my precious. The vacuum! My preeeeeeeeciousssss!

[update] Glee! Floors.....gleeming! Useless piece of crap Swiffer....in trash. I lurves my preecccciousssssss!

Posted by S. Faolan Wolf at June 7, 2005 11:01 AM

I want a new vacuum cleaner. I asked my husband for a dyson for my birthday....he doesn't understand. All I got was a gift card to the spa....I want a new vacuum!!! That sounds like fun.
I do the Blockbuster online thing...same thing. I love it. I point and laugh at everyone who has to actually walk in to the movie store. It's a beautiful thing

Posted by: SailGirl at June 7, 2005 01:39 PM

The best thing about renting movies? You get to sit down and enjoy them in the comfort of your own home. By taking the video store out of the equation, you double your pleasure.

Posted by: Maine at June 7, 2005 04:30 PM

Hey Faolan - about the vacuum cleaner - that makes you old, woman;-)

Yes Minister was shown here when it was first made too. I was hugely popular, and runs on the UK channel on digital now. They really are classics. I have read elsewhere that the show is quite popular in the US, which is interesting. I have seen them all and they still make me laugh, even now. Timeless stuff.

Posted by: Ruth at June 7, 2005 08:07 PM

You've been tagged.

Posted by: JJ at June 7, 2005 11:42 PM

Oh, the Kirby and I have a torrid love affair.

Okay, that just sounds wrong. Like I use the vacuum on myself. But no.. it's okay to be excited about a good vacuum.

Posted by: mary at June 8, 2005 11:01 AM
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